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Posts Tagged ‘estrogen’

Today is day #3 with a sore throat/cold, the first one I’ve had in over two years and possibly a sign that my immune system is not what it used to be. That said, I am feeling much better today than I was yesterday or the day before so at least I am able to recover quickly.

I have also had really bad arthritis and bone pain lately. Partially because of the weather. The rain has been relentless this year. My cough is still hanging around. Basically my body is allergic to everything. My body is constantly inflamed. Any time I eat or drink within minutes my body responds by producing mucus and forcing me to cough. This makes it pretty hard to breathe, talk and almost impossible to exercise. If I overeat the inflammation response often leads to vomiting from all the coughing/gasping for air. My weight is very very low. My energy reserves are seriously depleted. If I have been bad about returning calls/emails/visiting this is why. I just don’t have the energy for it.

I have a new theory about what is wrong and it involves adrenal exhaustion. Tests from my natropath show that my adrenal glands are not functioning well and my thyroid stimulating hormone is double what it should be. AE-> low cortisol-> low progesterone -> high estrogen-> high histamine (hence my inflammation), and low thyroid hormone absorption. It all makes sense but I’ve made that proclamation many times before. I feel like a crazy person researching and researching and researching trying to find answers that no doctors seem to have. My body feels like a science experiment gone horribly awry. I am trying to stay optimistic but honestly it has been hard lately. On the one hand I KNOW that I’ve been worse off than this. Two years ago I was doing much worse. But I’ve been a hell of a lot better too.

Today we got a whole house water filtration system installed. I am super excited about this. Our water was so super chlorinated. Every time we used the shower (even with a showerhead filter) it smelled like a swimming pool. Chlorine acts like estrogen in the body and inhaling chlorine steam is really bad. So now our water is soft and odor free. No more VOCs, no more chlorine. I am hoping this makes a difference in how I feel. Psychologically it has already given me some peace of mind. Also, we found an awesome plumber in the process. If you live in pinellas county and need a good plumber, Sauls plumbing is where its at. they were nice, knowledgeable and reasonably priced.

The next thing I am going to do is get a wheatgrass juicer and start growing some wheatgrass. Despite the occasional pessimistic bout of mean pinks I still have hope. Please keep me on your altars. I miss all of you and have a hard time seeing you from my lonely little pink planet but I think about you all the time and hope all is well.

Love, she

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This whole time I’ve been beating myself up about the cancerous fluids returning to my heart area. It never once occurred to me that I could just be the victim of malpractice. I’m not going to sue or anything but the word “malpractice” is just very fitting here. Let me give you some background information:

My breast cancer is highly estrogen receptive. This means that every month, as the levels of estrogen rose in my body during the normal cycle of hormones, my cancer grew. Estrogen feeds my cancer. Ever since puberty my body has been an overzealous producer of estrogen and as a result I’ve struggled from horrible symptoms since the age of 13. This is the reason I agreed to be on Zoladex. It is a medicinal pellet that is injected with a giant needle every 28 days into my belly fat. The pellet dissolves over the course of 28 days and the little particles of medication somehow make the long trip all the way up to my pituitary gland (in the brain) where they block the signal normally sent by my pituitary to my ovaries to make estrogen. This puts me into what is known as chemically-induced menopause. The only side effects from the Zoladex are occasional insomnia and lots and lots of hot flashes.

Well in September, right around the time of my last healing reaction, I noticed that my hot flashes stopped completely. I boastfully assumed that my body was just a master of regulation and could overcome the side effects of chemically-induced menopause. What I neglected to remember in my superhero fantasies is a little mishap that occurred when the nurse was giving me the injection in early September. As she pressed the plunger on the needle to release the zoladex she said “Ooops…” I looked down (and I never look during these things) to see the pellet sticking out of my body. She had pressed the plunger too soon. “I’ll just push this back in” the nurse said and I believed her. I believed she could push the pellet all the way back into my stomach. I didn’t look as she did this. Normally the area is swollen for a few days. I did think it was remarkably unswollen afterward but I fully trusted this nurse and when she assured me that she pushed the Zoladex safely and securely into my flesh I believed her.

Fast forward to 28 days later. I go to the doctor’s office ready for my injection. They forgot to order it (this is the third time in less than a year that this has happened) and won’t have it for 5 more days. Timing is crucial with zoladex. You have to receive the injection before you ovulate. If you ovulate, goodbye menopause, hello flood of carcinogenic estrogen. Which is what happened. Which explains why the cancerous fluids reaccumulated and god knows what else at this point.

I called my doctor and he took no blame. He has recently left the old practice and started his own. He put all the blame on the old practice. In September, during the injection screw up, my doctor was with the old practice. The nurse who messed up stayed with the old practice. But the screw up in ordering my medication in a timely fashion occurred at the new practice in October. I love my doctor and do not want to find a new on but I am mad as hell. I did my part. I am working so hard to beat this. People say it’s a full time job but it’s not. It’s more. Even people who put in a ton of overtime get a day off every now and then. I am lucky to have the help of my mom and Nathan but it is so draining not to be able to go anywhere or do anything. I held up my extremely difficult end of the bargain and it just makes me so angry that my doctor’s staff neglected to do their part. These mistakes could cost me months. I could regress quite a bit. I was so close to being cancer free and then this happened. I get a CT scan Tuesday and god knows what they will find at this point.

The only comforting thing I have learned from this whole experience is that no matter what I eat, no matter how healthy I am, nothing can stop the pain and misery I used to experience every month. There is clearly something wrong with the whole system. I am hardwired to make mass quantities of estrogen for whatever reason. For the women out there who have normal easy cycles consider yourself very blessed. Know that the women with difficult cycles are not making it up. The pain is real and it is debilitating. And trust me, I’ve been through A LOT of pain in the last year or so. I know my pain. You would think someone as cancer-skinny as me wouldn’t even be able to have a period. But that’s my body for you.

So that’s that. I have no more dignity. My breasts and menstrual cycles are officially public information.

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