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Archive for April, 2009

Take my advice and do not schedule your own salpingo oophorectomy right before a holiday that fetishizes eggs and birth.

I still feel like total crap and I am getting really impatient. It feels like someone is constantly shoving pins through the midsection of my voodoo doll.  I sleep a lot. It is hard to walk. I’ve lost weight. yeah, i dont even know how. Its hard to pee. I can’t keep down carrot juice. green juice is fine, the carrots turn my stomach.

I. just. want. to. feel. better.

All I can do is daydream about the things I would be doing if movement weren’t so painful. My niece and nephew are visiting and I wish I could go on the boat with them, go ride bikes, etc. Nathan  is Super Uncle.

Thank you all so much for the thoughtful cards, prayers, comments and love. Sorry I haven’t been in touch. i am only at the computer for a little bit every week. I haven’t charged my phone or checked my messages since march. i dont know where my charger is and i don’t have the energy to look. too tired to talk. just want to sleep.

Love and miss you all.

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Surgery went well. My surgeon refrained from any major shenanegans this april fools day.  although he did not visit me pre or post op which i thought was rude.  9th surgery but that was a first.

still recovering. not doing much computer tv and no phone for now as i am super wiped out. might take me awhile to answer emails. Its hard getting in and out of bed, at first it was difficult to pee. Still hurts to cough, sneeze and laugh. Can’t lift things or walk right and my belly is all bloated and tender. The fam is taking super good care of me.

Thank you all so much for the love, support, prayers and all-around awesomeness.

more writing when i am back to my old self.

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Tomorrow is the big day. My surgery will be done endoscopically with general anesthesia. It takes about 30 minutes to pluck my precious caviar and tubes. It’s outpatient, thank you god. Recovery could take a couple of days or a week.

 

I know in my gut this is the right thing to do. I had hoped to preserve some fertility but time ran out. Also, I found out that my cancer cells could potentially be transferred to a surrogate. There is no way I could take that risk.

 

I am feeling calmer right now than I had expected. This surgery (my 9th) is the most anticipated and yet most dreaded. It will have the biggest impact on my physical and emotional health.

 

There is no turning back!!

 

I should be in surgery at 11:30am eastern standard time. I will gratefully receive any and all prayers, visualizations of a good outcome, loving affirmations, good mojo and healing vodo. I will update on my condition ASAP.

 

xoxo

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