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Archive for November, 2008

just some ink on some paper

so my marker is 130. up 28 points. I kind of knew this would happen since my estrogen level spiked right after my october appointment (the week before my period). Since then I know things have been getting progressively better and better as evidenced by the absence of coughing and no heart fluid on the scan. The markers measure what was going on in your body 2 weeks ago. So the marker last week is really a reflection of where I was at 3 weeks ago. Confused yet? I guess the point is that I am not too concerned. I feel like things are getting better.

That said it still is kind of a bummer. I wish things were completely better. My goal is to be better by the time Obama is in office. That way my cancer will just be a phenomenon of the dismal bush years.

My doctor said he was thinking of me when he was reading a book on his Kindle (lucky bastard). The protagonist in this story was faced with an angry mob of hells angels and he said to himself “I know I am going to die but not today.” He lived.

I am glad to be here typing. I am glad I am going to be able to celebrate christmas. I feel like I have many christmases in the future to look forward to.

I still got in in me.

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I’m sorry I’ve been MIA with the emails, posts, etc. I am doing fine, just a tad behind on things. I’ve been avoiding the computer like the plague. I think I just really needed the technotox (techno- detox.) Being a full time cancer patient and gerson person continues to take up about 45-50 hours of my week with no days off. It’s hard work but it is worth it.

Well menopause is back in full swing. A lot of symptoms I attributed to the cancer were actually the zoladex- my thirst is back. It is from all the sweaty hot flashes and thankfully it is not from the brain tumor anymore. I know this because it went away when I was off the zoladex and returned immediately with the hot flashes. But not to worry- when i say thirst I’m talking maybe an extra 20oz of water. Not a gallon a night like when I first began round 2 of this cancer ordeal. Other symptoms include brain fog- I found I could write and formulate sentences much better during sept and oct. I have also fallen back into some minor aches and pains, fatigue and the occasional migraine. I see now that these are all from the freaking zoladex.

Those of you postmenopausal women out there- I’d like to know what symptoms are permanent since sometime in the next year or three I will have my ovaries removed. Do the memory problems persist? when do the hot flashes end in real menopause (mine are here to stay as long as I get the injection.) Are there any other permanent symptoms I should brace myself for?

Unreal question to be asking at 30, I know.

The reason I am waiting to have my ovaries removed is because I want to save some embryos. Normally a woman would do this via IVF but in my case IVF is not an option due to the hormones they have to use to stimulate the egg maturation. Instead I have to have what is known as IVM (in vitro maturation.) In order to do this I have to be off the zoladex for a couple of months and I would like to be cancer-free when the time comes. I would need to get a sonogram in order to see how many eggs I have ready. Then I would get my ovaries removed at a specialized clinic in TN. They then match the viable eggs with sperm to create embryos. I would need a surrogate from India (price varies from 6k-10k. This amount of money buys them a nice house and possibly education for their children) to gestate the child(ren). You do get less eggs than you would from IVF. Chances of it working are around 40% at some clinics. The odds are getting better every day. I know it is far-fetched and in the future but it would be nice to have it as a possibility. Adoption is great too. I am sure we will adopt at least one kid at some point. So that’s the deal. That’s why I am on this medication. We want at least the possibility of having our own biological child(ren). I know that might sound ridiculous to some of you, and thats ok. Just please keep it to yourself. 🙂

I see my oncologist tomorrow. I already know the scan looked good since they called to tell me so. My cough is gone and the fluid in my anterior mediastinum is gone. No heart surgery!! The only new bit of information he will have for me is my tumor markers. If they are still elevated, that’s fine. It might take them a couple of months to drop so I am not too worried. However, I will post the results tomorrow. i also need to post a couple of recipes. and i wanted to tell you all about the wonders of DMSO and MSM but I guess these will have to wait.

I hope everyone is fabulous!

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So i got a phone call from the nurse today- they see almost nada in the CT scan, no fluids, no enlarged lymph nodes in the heart area where there was concern in the last PET scan. the nurse says the lesion on the liver went from 3cm to 1cm when compared with the last CT scan in February. I was confused because the PET scan last month said my liver was tumor free. The nurse said the thing on my liver could have very well been there when i had the PET scan but was too small to be seen. she also said it may not be cancer, just leftover tissue. Hmmm…

My cough is better, for sure. but its not completely gone so its kind of weird that nothing showed up in the heart area on the scan. maybe the amount of fluid is so small that it dosn’t show. Anyhow, i am just glad the fluid is gone and the hot flashes are back!!!!!!!! never thought i’d be so thrilled to be back in menopauseland. but its splendid here. hot as hell. I have forgiven the drs office for their screw ups. i love my doctor and I really like everyone on his staff. however, i will be watching them like a hawk to make sure they order my meds on time and administer them properly. apparently i need the zoladex more than i would like to concede.  Though obviously zoladex or oophorectomy alone would not be enough to cure me. If it were, post menopausal women wouldn’t ever die from breast cancer and they do. thank god the fluid was the only bad thing that happened from their mistakes and thank god it is gone!!! Thank god for Max Gerson, vitamin C IVs, DMSO IVs and for all the love. I have a lot to be thankful for, yet again.

Shout out to my mom and bro jim for walking 60 miles in 3 days to raise money for the susan g komen foundation over the weekend. mom was spreading the word about the amazing success i’ve had with my protocal to the other walkers. she was there to represent! I am so proud of her and jim. Thanks to all of you who supported her with donations. I am visualizing that money going towards eradicating all cancers once and for all.

Much love to you all. Don’t forget to VOTE!!!!!

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